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Reclaiming the term 'bisexual'

 

bisexual adj sexually attracted to both sexes; having the characteristics of both sexes. *n a person sexually attracted to both sexes - bisexualism, bisexuality n

 

I use 'bisexual' as a short-hand for my sexuality otherwise how are people gonna know what I am? Why do I need to let them know what I am in the first place? Well, I need to let them know because being bisexual shouldn't be a big deal. And that's what I'm trying to show. But by using that word I am also accepting all the connotations, prejudices and such which come with it.

'Homosexuality' was originally classified as a mental illness -- since then new words have been (re)claimed, and used by gay men -- 'gay', 'queer', 'poof'. By (re)claiming these words they have changed their meanings from negative to positive. No such thing has happened with the word 'bisexual'. And less and less bisexuals want to use it to describe themselves.

The word 'bisexual' is all we have. Anyone who finds that gender is not really issue when it comes to sexual attraction only has that word to describe their sexuality. It has very fixed meanings. We also have 'AC/DC'-- but who wants to use a word, which has been claimed by a crappy band, to describe their sexuality?

Somehow a new word must be found, a less threatening word, a word less associated with so many connotations. We need our version of the word 'gay'. Either that or 'bisexual' needs to be reclaimed by bisexuals themselves. Perhaps we need to make it user friendly again, to stop people from being so reluctant to use it to describe themselves.

The word is all we have -- and why I do not feel it is totally adequate I use it hoping that other people will too. For there is a kind of fear behind using that word, and I think this is to do with the fact the word has been tainted. In our society there is a lot of baggage which comes with the word 'bisexual'. After all, 'bisexual' men are often 'blamed' for the spread of HIV and AIDs to the heterosexual population. And when people think of 'bisexual' they tend to associate it with polygamy, with promiscuity, with sitting on the fence. The thing is our society conditions us so well that half of the time we don't even realise we are pandering to their meanings of words, rather than creating our own meanings.

I can understand why people are reluctant to use the word, I live in the same Western society, I have the same issues, and at the end of the day we must describe ourselves in ways we feel comfortable with e.g. saying you're a 'gay woman' instead of 'lesbian'. But bisexuals don't really have a choice in the matter -- there aren't enough adequate words. If enough people use 'bisexual' proudly and without fear then may be we can reclaim it, shape it into our meanings rather than accept those thrust upon us.

 

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